How I Conned My Way Into...A Job?

My brain has seriously let me down this week--and usually the unconscious state is where it makes up for that. But lately--lately being since I decided to post my dreams online and attempt to tell them in an interesting manner--my dreams have been lacking material that can be readily manipulated and cleverly retold as strange but amusing anecdotes. Is it too much to ask for just one interesting dream with an easy-to-recount plot, magical powers, and brief appearances by dwarfs, celebrities, and/or talking animals?

If that disclaimer didn't dissuade you from reading....

A few nights ago I woke up from a long series of dreams feeling confused, dizzy, and utterly exhausted. It was 12:47 the first time I tried to get up, 2 p.m. the second time, and 5 p.m. when I finally got out of bed. Whenever I wake up like this the first thing I try to remember is whether I went to bed drunk or sober (or on crack?).

In one of the dreams I was, at first, watching the dream happen to me. I was with someone else and we’d nearly fallen to our deaths somehow but instead wound up being caught by some kind of elevator-like thing that looked a lot like a construction crane but was not operated by anyone. So this elevator crane thing brought us over to a big warehouse. We had to decide when to jump off the elevator and onto one of the many platforms. The decision was made based on which TV shows were playing on the TVs on the platforms—not based on something sensible like, you know, which ones we could safely jump to. We chose some old TV show that the other person (who is so anonymous to me even in the dream that my brain cancelled them with no explanation immediately after) recognized, but I did not.

I jumped, landed in the warehouse, and the next thing I know the other person is no longer part of the dream. I don’t know, maybe he or she missed and flew back down to land on another elevator crane, or landed before me, found the exit, and quickly peaced out. But I was vaguely aware that I was sort of two people in one. Like, I would be the person in my body first, then there would be another one. So maybe we just collided in mid-air and morphed into one person who has to take turns functioning. In this case, my going first was totally unfair, because the next thing I did in the dream was sit down at a computer (which is surrounded by planks of wood, because this is a warehouse platform and not an actual office), and pretend that I worked there. I even asked the boss (in both English and French, so I guess we’re still in France) which document to work on, hoping he wouldn’t realize that not only was I not the man who worked at that computer, but I was a strange American girl who did not work there at all.